The Jade Journals🌿

Ever since I was young, God and the church were ingrained in my life. My family would go to church every Sunday and pray together. Wherever I went the spirit of religion was always with me; from the rosary hanging off our car’s rear mirror to the gold baptism necklaces around our necks.  It was not all bad when I was young, going to Sunday school with my friends was fun, playing around with them after mass ended was even more fun. I enjoyed the holidays as well, Christmas at my house was always a big celebration, a massive feast, loud Nigerian music and dancing.  For a child the community the Church provided was the main draw. I never fully conceptualized the meaning of an omnipotent ‘all-loving’ God until I was older but even then I knew I didn’t believe like everyone else did.  When Doubt and Distance Crept In When I was around the age of 11 the illusion truly crumbled, up until that point I was aware that I was playing along to some extent. The Bible and how it was pre...

  I’m a chronically online black girl, who enjoys all forms of media as escapism but I have been faced with sub-textually racism in the media and overt racism from fans in fan-spaces all my life. I could honestly rant for YEARS about colorism, lack of fleshed out black characters, fandoms inability to include black people/characters etc.  But today I want to focus on the one that has been haunting me and plaguing fan spaces for the past couple of years which is the “ disposable black girlfriend trope .” What is the Disposable Black Girlfriend Trope? Well Wikipedia defines it as: “a common trope in which a Black female characters disproportionately often serve as temporary love interests, only to be passed over in favor of the one true love: a white love interest, or sometimes a love interest who is a non-Black person of color. The trope is commonly found in canon media as well as fan-made transformative works.” It’s found in everything, however where it is most apparent is in ...

A Journey Through Language, Trauma, and Self-Discovery Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower follows Charlie, a quiet and observant fifteen-year-old, as he navigates high school, mental illness, and personal trauma through letters to an anonymous “dear friend.” The novel explores themes of loneliness, identity, and healing, all while capturing the rawness of adolescence. However, what makes Perks particularly intriguing is the way Charlie’s experiences are framed—especially through his language. Many have debated whether Perks and similar YA novels glorify mental illness, substance use, and trauma, or whether they provide much-needed representation of these struggles. However, less often discussed is the novel’s linguistic approach—how Charlie’s narration contributes to the “romanticization” of mental illness. Does Charlie’s voice portray pain authentically, or does it turn suffering into something poetic and idealized? The Language of Inaction and Loneliness From the first...

  When Life Feels Like a Blur: College, Loneliness and the Fear of Change. They say college is where you "find yourself." That it’s the best time of your life, where you make lifelong friends and unforgettable memories. But what if, instead of feeling alive, you feel like you’re just… existing? Lately, I’ve felt like I’m watching my own life from the outside—going through the motions, saying the right things, but never truly feeling present. I recently learnt about the term "Disassociation" which WebMD (yes, I know what an incredible source) describes as: "an involuntary experience that occurs when you feel disconnected from yourself or your environment" I am never one to self diagnose or recommend others to do so but I relate so much to the feeling and I'm sure others do too. I was aware of feelings of emptiness when I was first diagnosed with depression, however I've connected much more with the feeling of being disassociated from life.  It fee...

 30/01/2025 Everyone is lonely right?  That question always visits me, Rolling through my mind as I lay in bed each night.  Familiar yet daunting to me.  Loneliness ebbs and flows in my veins, Weighing on my limbs, tightening my throat. Entangled with my very own DNA,  Like an inherited trait I never asked for,  Woven into the blueprint of my being.  He is an absence within me A cavity in my chest, That despite how many people surround me Can never be sealed.  It’s just who I am,  There’s not much more to it.  He turns any season into the barren, dry cold of winter.  Dusting my world in a sugary frost,  I chase the sun but he follows in my shadows, Tempting me to stop.  Telling me he understands me And me, him.  He is who I run to for solace.  Loneliness walks with me through every struggle,  And every triumph.  In crowded rooms his fingertips trace my spine. He lingers, He waits, He always finds me. In...