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Why I Started This Blog: A College Girl's Digital Diary


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I always thought college would be the time when everything finally made sense and I would start discovering myself as an individual. For me this was extremely exciting as I had always lived with this confusion surrounding who I was. But instead, I find myself more lost than ever.

Early Days

The summer leading up to my first semester of college was a time I'm not likely to forget any time soon. The fun I was having traveling with family and friends had me in high spirits for orientation week and meeting new people. Especially since I moved to a different country for university (I am from central Europe and I moved to a neighboring country to my home country).

The distance from home feels even more intense in a place where social interaction isn’t as naturally built into the rhythm of student life. I stay in my own accommodation alone, there are barely any social clubs to join, and everyone goes home immediately after every lecture. 

I had expected it to be that way but at my University and in my course everyone fends for themselves and don't particularly talk much. At first I thought this was a me-issue; was I not being out going enough? 
I had previously never struggled too hard finding friends in grade school, but perhaps that was because everyone was forced to interact everyday 8 hours daily. Here it was possible to go days without needing to say a word to anyone. 

I had tried to be more talkative and sparked conversation over anything and everything:

  • "Where are you from?"
  • "What made you choose this uni?"
  • "Oh the way you write on your I-pad is so interesting, I should've gotten one."
  • "I'm so tired from studying, what about you?"
  • "What are your study plans... can I join?"
Yet for some reason nothing ever became a substantial friendship. There are people I talk to strictly for information about exam dates and topics and more course related matters. But anything deeper than that hasn't been reached. 

But I just told myself 'All in due time'.


Present Day

At first, I was optimistic that things would change as I settled in, but now, as the days go on, it feels like my situation is only getting harder. It's gotten to the point I stopped trying to force any friendships and now my and my course-mates don't partake in conversations other than small talk and things concerning our course. This grew a large pit of loneliness within me, living in away from home completely alone without a single true friend. 

I've been feeling as though I've been slowly drowning, so in a desperate attempt to see if others struggle with the same problems as me I created this blog. Though I haven’t found deep connections yet, I’ve started focusing more on my own personal growth—picking up new hobbies and rediscovering my love for writing.

In the 21st century where people are so interconnected through technology, the youth feel the loneliest they've ever had. So I wanted to have a space where girls can come together and realize that they are not alone in this world. 

Have you ever felt this way in your college journey? I’d love to hear your stories, or if you’ve found ways to make meaningful connections. Let’s chat in the comments or feel free to reach out. You’re not alone.
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